time.

"to everything there is a season, and a time to every
purpose under heaven. .....He has made 
everything beautiful in its time." 
ecc. 3

the past few weeks, i've been wrestling with this great...i mean great desire to find another job. obviously, i can't right now because i am pregnant and now is not the time to be finding another job. i'm working where i am now because i was in school to do cosmotology, but the Lord had other plans and we needed to start saving :) of course, i would really love to pursue photography. i feel so stuck because i work all day everyday sometimes 6 days a week, go to sleep, wake up, and do the same thing all over again. i guess i've just been...discouraged. i know what i am to do, but i feel so distracted and busy with life and 9-5 work. i have worked at this job for as long as i can remember, i am thankful for a job, yet there are days though where i know that there is more. because of the stress at work, i've seen how i've been and dang, how awfully selfish i really am! i've seen recently how i'm so selfish with the time when i'm not working. it's not really "my" time anyway.

i guess for now i will patiently wait. things are about to change. really change! and this is only for a short, temporary season. i miss my sweet long times with Jesus and just sitting in His presence and reading the word for hours. i miss all of that so much. it's amazing how seasons change and time goes by so quickly. though life is so busy right now, i know the Lord sees this. i know that He sees my heart and desires. i can only pray that He will continue to soften my heart and prepare me.